Unprayable Easter Morning

Closing

I went through several scholarly treatments and found nothing decisive. On reflection, the absence of anything decisive may be the most appropriate result this passage could produce.

2Now I, Joseph, was wandering but not wandering. And I looked up to the dome of heaven and saw it standing still, and into the sky, and I was astonished to see that even the birds of heaven were still. And I looked at the ground and saw a bowl lying there, and workers reclining, and their hands were in the bowl, and they were chewing but not chewing, and they were picking up food but not picking up food, and they were bringing it to their mouths but not bringing it to their mouths. Rather, all their faces were looking up. And I saw sheep being driven, but the sheep stood still. And the shepherd lifted his hand to strike them, but his hand was raised. And I looked into the torrent of the river and saw young goats, and their mouths were in the water but not drinking. And suddenly, everything resumed its course.

ヤコブによる幼児福音書 18:2（Mattison 訳（英語））

In an ordinary week

Let me set the terms. This is not an argument about doctrinal correctness. It is one reader's account of what the text can be made to yield. I am going to leave the ending open on purpose.

5その中にいます主は義であって、不義を行われない。 朝ごとにその公義を現して、誤ることがない。 しかし不義な者は恥を知らない。

6「わたしは諸国民を滅ぼした。 そのやぐらは荒れはてた。 わたしはそのちまたを荒したので、 ちまたを行き来する者もない。 その町々は荒れすたれて、 人の姿もなく、住む者もない。

7わたしは言った、 『これは必ずわたしを恐れ、懲しめを受ける。 これはわたしが命じたすべての事を見失わない』と。 しかし彼らはしきりに自分の行状を乱した」。

ゼパニヤ書 3:5-7（口語訳（日本語））

Reading the non-canonical material alongside this shows how wide the shared vocabulary of the period really was. Looking only at what was eventually collected hides that width entirely.

14サムソンは彼らに言った、 「食らう者から食い物が出、 強い者から甘い物が出た」。 彼らは三日のあいだなぞを解くことができなかった。

士師記 14:14（口語訳（日本語））

Comparing translations

Here is the conclusion, which is not an answer. I have decided to read this as a promise rather than a command, for the plain reason that I can live inside the first reading and not the second. Whether that is a legitimate reason I genuinely do not know.